Interview breakfast with Kool Keith. March 2012.

Just over ten days after Mardi Gras 2012, legendary perverted New York rapper Kool Keith played a last minute 2am New Orleans show at the tiny Dragon’s Den on Frenchmen Street, on his way out to a bigger performance at the 5th Annual Arizona Pornstar Ball industry function. Ten years ago, Keith filled the big room at New Orleans’ House of Blues with the likes of Nine Inch Nails’ Trent Reznor in the audience.

In the 150-capacity Dragon’s Den, just 125 or so mostly white kids lost their minds to career-spanning Kool Keith hits from albums such as Dr. OctagonSex StyleBlack Elvis, even Critical Beatdown from his 80s group the Ultramagnetic MCs. Though Keith mostly rapped along to his own voice over his original recordings, for fans of the slightly touched Freudian rapper, this was a rare intimate throwdown to be relished.

The next morning Keith met with me for a breakfast interview. Directly after “Hello,” Keith said he wanted waffles. His handlers repeated that Keith needed waffles. “You know where we can get some waffles?” Keith repeated.

“Yes, of course,” I assured. “I can make that happen.”

“With whipped cream?”

“Definitely, that’s a French Quarter specialty.”

“And like, some strawberries sprinkled on top?”

“Yes. Let’s go.”

As I led Keith to the Magnolia Grill at the French Market, we hypothesized as to why Lil Wayne moved away from New Orleans to Miami. We agreed he was probably worried he’d eventually get shot. Keith, a much professed fan of the black female form, had never heard of New Orleans bounce music: our city’s indigenous form of call-and-response party rap, which has spawned provocatively sexual dance styles that would make 2 Live Crew blush. I filled Keith in on the biggest stars of New Orleans bounce music, many of whom are transgendered. As he promised to research these borderline-pornographic bounce dances on You Tube, I suspected this information would change Kool Keith’s life.

Until then, Keith had to settle for French toast rather than waffles, with whipped cream but no strawberries. He was fine with this, which lent itself to the impression he gave of someone without a lot of expectations or demands, and thus lacking disappointment. Keith seemed happy and satisfied with his life as an underground rap legend, regardless of the size of last night’s club. He was as legitimately spacey as we’ve been led to believe, but throughout our breakfast interview the multiple-personality-disorder MC was mostly, for lack of a better phrase, down to Earth, as we discussed New Orleans, intimate concerts, his inverted sense of humor, and his gig at the Arizona Pornstars Ball. CLICK HERE TO READ THE INTERVIEW…

This is one of the craziest videos ever, by the way…

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