Author Archives: michaelpatrickwelch

Lake Charles Was Destroyed by Hurricane Laura. America Has Already Moved On. (The New Republic. Sept. 2020.)

When Hurricane Laura hit last week, all I could think about was Katrina. The world considers August 29 the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. For New Orleans residents like myself, that date marks the mere beginning of a disaster that unfolded … Continue reading

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An Innovative School. An Inspiring Leader. And a Sex Scandal. (Bayou Brief. December, 2020.)

This week, the director of the Travis Hill School inside of New Orleans’ jail, Christy Sampson Kelly, was arrested for an allegedly inappropriate relationship with an 18-year-old imprisoned man. Evidence supposedly included over 700 recorded phone calls of a sexual nature, and … Continue reading

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Seven pieces from Book & Film Globe (2020): Kevin Hart, Pete Davidson, Dave Chappelle, Marc Maron, #BlackAF, “Wendy” and “Cut Throat City.”

Dec. 2020: Review of Kevin Hart’s “Zero Fucks Given” standup special. Sept 2020: Interview with Gregory Chestnut, my former bandmate, and producer of “Cut Throat City.” June 2020: A review of Dave Chappelle’s Black Lives Matter speech, “8:46” May 2020: … Continue reading

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133 Famous People I Have Met

by Michael Patrick Welch. Written every weekday from Jan.-May 2020 Click the links below to jump to each fun, funny vignette. The stars by each name denote the encounter’s meaningfulness, with three stars being most meaningful. PLEASE consider tipping the writer … Continue reading

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#132. I met guitarist Yngwie Malmsteen (Tampa, 1999)

The shredding Swede, Yngwie Malmsteen, remains peerless; a classical composer whose too-fast guitar playing owes more to Bach than Eddie Van Halen. His influence is hard to spot these days, because no one else can do what Malmsteen does. Also, … Continue reading

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#126-#131: RATT, White Zombie, Todd Barry, Tracey Ullman, Vince Vaughan, Warren G.

The Simpsons’ baby mama. I love her. #126: RATT’s Stephen Pearcy: One of the few hair bands that I still love, RATT came through Tampa in the late 90s, and I interviewed both Pearcy and Brett Michaels of co-headliners, Poison. I … Continue reading

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#125. I met Weird Al Yankovich (Tampa, 1998)

“Oh wow, jeez. I dunno.” When interviewing a funny person, you just lob them softballs that they knock out the park. But the funniest thing about Weird Al was how radically unfunny he was during our interview. So unfunny that it … Continue reading

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#118-#124: Buncha quick ones: Mayor Ray Nagin, Judy Tenuta, Linda Hamilton, Mark Wahlberg, Mike Patton, Mastodon, The Pointer Sisters

#118: Comedian Judy Tenuta: I interviewed the accordion playing Love Goddess over the phone. You may not remember her, but she was huge for a minute, with flowers in her hair. Sort of the feminine answer to Bobcat Goldthwait, with … Continue reading

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#117. I met original Cash Money artists U.N.L.V. (New Orleans, 2014)

Tec-9 on Sixth and Barrone New Orleans Rapper Tec-9 steps onto a helicopter to be flown to his lucrative gig. He’s been off work for two weeks but is about to embark on twenty-eight straight days of giving people what they … Continue reading

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#94-#116: Famous bands I’ve opened for: Assuck, F*cking Champs, Greg Ginn, Girl Talk, Little Dragon, MakeUp, Of Montreal, etc.

The PR photo Of Montreal used on the tour where we opened for them #94. 5’8″: Not really famous, this GA band was much beloved throughout the south in the 90s. They packed shows way down in Tampa, where we opened … Continue reading

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